STAR WARS Episode VIII : The Last Jedi

Sigh.

 Finally sitting down to jot down some of my thoughts after watching Spaceballs 2, AKA 'The Last Jedi'.
Seriously, Disney Lucasfilm has taken this franchise to LUDICROUS SPEED.

Just as most agree that 'The Force Awakens' was in large part a re-hash of 'A New Hope', TLJ is clearly a rehash of both 'The Empire Strikes Back' and 'Return of the Jedi', with a lot of crazy mixed in. It’s ironic, since a major recurring theme in this movie is to ‘kill the past’.

Any remaining, lingering thread of hope that Disney Lucasfilm could turn a new leaf and get Star Wars back on track is now as dead as Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, IMHO. By the way, I’ve seen TLJ twice now.

With that, let’s begin.

spoilers spoilers spoilers

No new info was brought to us within the iconic opening crawl. That’s part of the problem with starting this Star Wars movie right where the last one ended, and something that I had wondered about. How are they going to pull this transition off? They didn’t. Then there’s the fact that you could replace this crawl with that from Empire, and it would be damn near the same situation.

I wasn’t engaged throughout the opening battle scene vs the dreadnaught the first time around. It was a little better with the 2^nd viewing only because I better understood what was going on. And the prank call from Poe to Hux, gotta admit I chuckled the first time because it was unexpected, but ultimately that type of humor feels out of place in a real Star Wars movie, just like the opening of TFA with Poe’s “who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?”. It may be amusing, but it’s too jokey for Star Wars. The tone of Star Wars humor is more situational and less vocalized; less… forced (no pun intended). 

When Rose’s sister Paige closed her eyes and held her necklace before ultimately knocking the bomb detonator down, it was such an eye roll moment. Was it the Force? Was it her love for her sister? Was it dumb luck? Regardless, it’s such a movie cliché and a very lazy move on Rian Johnson’s part.

 After that cliffhanger at the end of TFA, with Rey holding out Anakin’s lightsaber to Luke, and which many have been speculating on and waiting for what the next moment would bring, I hated – hated – HATED the payoff. Having Luke simply toss it over his shoulder and walking away without a word, in what appears to be an intended comical moment, was horrible. This is the first of what Kevin Smith calls many “F U  J.J. Abrams” moments in this film, undoing what J.J. has set up.

It’s a minor thing, but why did Luke change his clothes in the middle of the day right after he met Rey? It felt like Rian didn’t like another choice that J.J. made, Luke wearing the light colored robes from the ending of TFA, and preferred to see him in his darker robes for the majority of the picture. This is a small example of a much greater problem: that Disney Lucasfilm has not had an overall vision for this story, and are just making it up as they go along. This wasn’t a problem when Star Wars was overseen by one singular storyteller with a vision, George Lucas.

I think it’s fascinating that Snoke actually acknowledges one of my biggest problems with TFA, telling Kylo that he was “bested by a girl who had never before held a lightsaber”. However, the movie still didn’t EXPLAIN why Rey was able to accomplish that, or any of her other feats. (see lack of vision above)

Geek side note: I love that Luke called a lightsaber a “laser sword”, because that is what George Lucas always calls it.

Very disappointed that we saw no reaction, response, any moment on screen whatsoever of Luke dealing with Han’s death. You can argue that what he says to Leia later sort of deals with it, but that was primarily for her, and it was definitely after Luke made any kind of “peace” with the news.

Luke’s “daily routine” of milking and fishing while creepily staring at Rey was a big awkward waste of time, and I’m convinced that the only reason it exists is so that Rey can later tell him, “I’ve seen your daily routine. You’re not busy”.

I enjoyed the performances and dialogue between Luke and Rey inside the tree.

The new idea (a miracle!) that the First Order can track the Resistance through lightspeed was an interesting new challenge, and I didn’t mind it.

I really cannot believe that they didn’t have the courage to just let Chewie go ahead and eat the Porg. I mean, it was already dead. Would have been such a satisfying moment. And doesn’t anybody remember ‘Return of the Jedi’? Han says, “Great Chewie, always thinking with your stomach”. It’s like Disney is crapping all over the Original Trilogy characters from Day 1.

Probably my favorite scene, and the only one that isn’t offensive in some way, is when Luke is reunited with R2-D2. That being said, Artoo and Theepio are once again underused in this film. Threepio barely gets an opportunity to finish a sentence. These two beloved characters were always designed to be the witnesses, the “custodians” of the Skywalker saga.

The WORST MOMENT in this story is Leia’s Force spacewalk. I’ve always felt that it would be appropriate, and even neat to see Leia use the Force in one of these movies, something we’ve never seen her do (aside from briefly communicating with Luke in Empire). She’s untrained, and she’s not a Jedi, but she has this potential as a Skywalker. But whatever she does would have to be SUBTLE. Using the Force in some small unexpected way would be dramatic enough for someone who we’ve never seen use the Force. Could have been very satisfying. But instead, the first time we see her using the Force is after she’s blown out into space, essentially dead, wakes up and proceeds to launch herself safely back to the ship, (again, while in space). It. Was. Too. Much. Unbelievable and again crapping on the mythology of a beloved OT character. Then there’s the fact that it technically looks horrible, the way she is seen flying through space. Unnatural and bizarre.

It was unrealistic for Rose to be so star-struck over Finn. Was he really a Resistance "hero" at this point? I didn't buy it. 

The plan to find the computer slicer on Canto Bight to get them past the shield to find the tracker and shut it down came about way to quickly and easily, sort of like the spontaneous plan to destroy Starkiller weapon in TFA.

I didn't find the casino planet scenes to be all the exciting or memorable. Also, why do we see Finn the "Resistance hero" become so excited and distracted by the casino, when the fate of the Resistance (and galaxy) is apparently in their hands?
The freeing of the "horses" subplot was out of place and such a waste of screen time in an already long movie. Did anybody care about this, again, with the fate of the galaxy hanging in the balance?

The Kylo - Rey connection that allowed them to see/hear and even touch each other was ridiculous, making no sense and serving no purpose other than the writer/director wanting more Kylo/Rey screentime together.

I really did enjoy the first "lesson" Luke gave to Rey, when he was messing with her about "feeling the force". Funny scene and one of the only highlights from the film. 

I'm not fully supportive of the taking of our beloved, idealistic, beacon of light and hope Luke Skywalker, and turning him into such a grumpy, cynical, dark failure who has turned away completely from the Jedi and from the Force. I know what they were trying to do here, but it didn't feel true to me. This guy who looked into Ben Solo's heart and decided that Snoke had turned him completely, was the same guy who believed there was still good in DARTH VADER, and proceeded to bring him back to the good side. Much of this movie feels like nobody over at Disney Lucasfilm has ever watched a Star Wars movie.

Minor complaint, but did anybody else notice how much more makeup Daisy Ridley was wearing than she did in TFA? Seems like now that she is a star, it was important to make her more glamorous looking. 

Continuing with the "Rey is amazing despite no training" theme from TFA, we watch her literally "train" herself in this movie, waving the lightsaber around without any direction. This is not believable storytelling, in Star Wars or not.

Rey's experience in the dark-side hole of the island was as boring as it was informative. 

It was nice seeing Luke's green lightsaber (my favorite of any lightsaber seen in the movies) make an appearance during the Luke/Kylo flashback, but it adds to the disappointment at the end of the film when he "returns" with Anakin's lightsaber instead. More on that later.

I really hate the fact that Kylo's ultimate fall, followed by Luke's dismissal of all things Jedi, leading to the rise of the First Order, the fall of the Republic, and the annihilation of several planets, is in part the result of a simple misunderstanding. Sure, Luke went to Kylo to kill him, but he changed his mind at the last moment. And because Kylo awoke at that moment, without knowing Luke's change of heart, it all went south from there. Millions of people died. Because of this misunderstanding.

Though it was nice and appropriate to see Force ghost Yoda again, Rian Johnson did not get his character right. Yoda acted silly and playful, the way we were first introduced to him in Empire, when he was PRETENDING to be silly and playful while testing Luke's patience. This is not his true personality. This was a noob move by someone who doesn't seem to know the very basics of Star Wars. Why didn't Frank Oz step in and say to Rian, "um, this ain't right fool". 

In addition, if a Jedi Master Force ghost can call on a massive bolt of lightning to burn down a tree, why in the Maker's name don't all Jedi Force ghosts show up and reign fire upon Kylo, or Snoke? 

Holdo keeping the Resistance fleet plan from Poe was stupid, pointless and ultimately dangerous. That is all.

Have you ever watched 'Return of the Jedi'? Well Rian Johnson apparently has because the Rey/Kylo/Snoke scene was 90% plagiarized from the Luke/Vader/Emperor scene. Seriously, actions and words were identical throughout most of the scene. The only thing that was different was Kylo not going with Rey at the end, but that's only because we still have one more movie to get through before this "making it up as we go" story is over.
So Snoke is the all seeing, all knowing, all powerful Oz, but he can't detect a lightsaber sitting right next to him turning in his direction? 
Once Snoke is killed, why do the Praetorian guards attack? Who are they protecting? When the Wicked Witch of the West was killed, her guards bowed down to Dorothy.
It was such a weird transition to last see Kylo and Rey fighting for Anakin's lightsaber, only to return to find Kylo unconscious and Rey missing. I felt like we needed a more satisfying resolution there. Is there a deleted scene we don't know about?

Does anybody really care about the Finn/Phasma conflict? Or Phasma? Or Finn? Was it a satisfying fight? Resolution? My answer to all is 'no'.

Why setup BB-9E as the anti BB-8, and show him discovering the Resistance team in disguise, but not go all the way with a BB-8 / BB-9E showdown? Are they saving that for Episode 9? Well I've lost interest.

I did find that Holdo taking the cruiser into lightspeed through the First Order fleet pretty cool; haven't seen that before. Would have been more powerful if that decision was also a sacrificial one for Holdo, but she was already sacrificing herself just by staying back with the ship. So, double sacrifice? Side note: Can't help to think that it would have been a satisfying way to see Leia go instead of Holdo, knowing what we know now.

Anybody else notice that the visual motifs from the opening of Empire were obviously reproduced for the end of Last Jedi? Walkers approaching low-flying speeders over a white surface.  Get some new ideas. In the prequels, Lucas introduced us to dozens of new environments and set pieces. In addition, what was the point of having a new style of AT-AT's, dubbed the "Gorilla walkers"? They did nothing but bring us a new toy line.

I didn't see any romantic chemistry at all between Rose and Finn, making her final words, "saving what we love" before kissing Finn, fall completely flat for me.

Okay. I've already stated my worst moment in the film, being the Leia Force space walk, but my biggest disappointment in the film is Luke's Force projection. Luke was the single most thing I was excited about seeing in this movie, especially after his lack of use in TFA. I'm not against seeing him use Force projection at some point, something we haven't yet seen in a Star Wars movie but has been around in the Expanded Universe. As a fan of the OT, of Luke Skywalker, I wanted to see him back. Not alone on an island, but BACK. Back with Leia. Back with the Alliance. Back fighting the bad guys. He never came back. He wasn't there with Leia, or with Kylo. And that was a hugely disappointing decision on Rian Johnson's part. 

Then the fact that the projection used Anakin's (now destroyed) blue lightsaber? Was that supposed to give us a (not so subtle) hint? How did he even fool Kylo with that lightsaber. I understand what they were trying to do there, but it missed the mark and was entirely unsatisfying.

So Rey's big climactic feat was that she used the force to move a bunch of big rocks? Okay. Next.

After all this, it was disappointing that Luke was killed off, just as Han was, in a very unsatisfying and pointless way. Crapping. On. OT. Characters. 

Speaking of... RIP Admiral Ackbar and Nien Nunb.

Disney Lucasfilm does not have a story for new Star Wars. They are simply creating moments that they feel are either familiar, or shocking, but with no overall arc to guide the story along. Can't even imagine what brand of bantha poodoo we are going to get in Episode IX.

May the Force Be With Us All